Dreading the end of the Space Shuttle Program
Note: The intent of this post is not to express an opinion on the path that should be taken by NASA or its future programs. It is simply an observation from someone experiencing the end of an era.
Have you ever had the feeling of grieving even before a loss? You see it coming and know there’s nothing you can do. Your senses are heightened to every little intricacy and you want to preserve all the details before it is too late. That is the way I feel about the Space Shuttle Program. I’ve worked at the Kennedy Space Center in various areas for roughly the past eight years. That makes me practically a newbie to most of my co-workers, but it feels like a long time to me. Long enough for KSC to feel like home. It is strange and sad to think that it will all be over in a matter of months.
Many people have never experienced anything like working at KSC. The center is sprawling; it has its own gas stations, banking, barber shops, and even a US Post Office on site. People out there speak a different language. When you first start working there, it takes several months before you have any idea what everyone is talking about. They speak in acronyms and in some cases the acronyms have become the words, because hardly anyone remembers what the letters stand for. KSC is similar to a small town, where gossip travels at speeds that far exceed a launching shuttle.
With the Space Shuttle Program, there is much more to it than the end of a contract. It is the end of an era. Most of us have become accustomed to spending the better part of our waking lives there and it is coming to a close. Everything we have come to know as so familiar will be gone, never to be seen again. This will be different than leaving a typical job. When we’re gone, we can never return to the site, never visit to see how things have changed, never set foot on the property again. It is not only a loss of the program for us, but a personal loss. We will no longer see the buildings we spent so much of our lives in, working at all odd hours of the day or night, often on weekends and holidays. The orbiters & ground support equipment we shed blood, sweat, and tears over will become distant memories only to be viewed in museums behind ropes and glass. We will seldom cross paths with many of the people who have become almost like family to us; the co-workers who will be forced to leave the area to find jobs. For us, it is a tremendous loss.
Even though I feel that I am ready to move on and pursue a career in space education and outreach, I can’t help feeling a bit melancholy about the end of the program. There are so many memories, good and bad. There is so much knowledge, expertise, and familiarity. Most of it would sound silly to anyone else, but the things I will miss include long days in the test cells working on welding jobs while listening to my co-workers tell stories from the early days of the program. I’ll miss riding in convoys to deliver Orbital Maneuvering System pods after our work is complete. I will even miss driving past the Gator Lake at the end of the road where we once saw forty-eight of the giant lizards laying up on the banks- as though it was an alligator parking lot.
There are other memories as well. Memories of working on Columbia and getting to sit in the commander’s seat the summer before she was lost. Standing in the shadow of the massive Vehicle Assembly Building to view the launch. Waiting outside with binoculars ready for her to return and the horror of the silence that should have been filled with two telltale sonic booms. Attending a surreal memorial service on the Shuttle Landing Facility runway on a grey day, in a light drizzle with the missing man formation roaring overhead. Examining the wreckage, in awe of the forces that acted upon it. These are moments I’ll always remember.
Now, as we near the end, I find myself looking around a little more, noticing and trying to take everything in. I’ll miss it all: the people, the hardware, the facilities, and the wildlife. It probably seems trite, but I don’t want to forget any of it, not even the little things. Not the chip in the floor at the bottom of the stairs in the test cell that I’ve always thought looks like a dragonfly, or the sound of thrusters when I test “fire” them on the bench, or the pain of AC motor valves jabbing me in the back as I squeeze into places never designed for human occupation. Okay, maybe I could forget that last one. Heh.
Whether you are a fan of the shuttle or not, you must admit that it is iconic. It is instantly recognizable, a beautiful machine and a work of art. It is tough to come to the realization that after this year, we’ll never again see a shuttle stack rolling out to the launch pad or leaving it in a hurry atop a billowing plume. For those of us who have lived and breathed it for years, please forgive us if it makes us a little sad to see the end. To us the shuttle is so much more than the sum of its parts and we’ll truly feel the sting of losing it and the community we’ve become a part of. It is going to be very hard to say goodbye.
17 Responses to “Dreading the end of the Space Shuttle Program”
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beth on January 24th, 2010
Very well said. So many have no idea the Shuttle program is heading out to the great pasture in the sky (or inside museums) forEVER! Thanks for writing this.
Love the alligator alley shot. Most I’ve seen is three together.
Ciro Villa on January 24th, 2010
Though it is one of my dreams, I have never worked at KSC or NASA; yet I had tears in my eyes after done reading your article. Bravo Jenny!
Stefan on January 24th, 2010
“Whether you are a fan of the shuttle or not, you must admit that it is iconic. It is instantly recognizable, a beautiful machine and a work of art.” Very well said! Thanks for this nice post and best wishes for the future. Greetings from Heidelberg, Germany.
M3VOY on January 24th, 2010
I read your article and felt a sadness that will be in all who followed the Shuttle programme over the years.Ham radio operators the world over including myself will miss IRLP/ Echolink comm downlinks during missions to ISS and Hubble.Rest assured those memories will be cherished.
73’s
Pete Williams (M3 VOY) Node Admin to 5240 and 5302 UK
M3VOY Echolink Node 407991
weezerd on January 24th, 2010
It’s one of those things you grow with and believe will never end. I could have imagined it carrying on at least until the day of the space elevator. But all things must pass ~ if we hung on to our ageing dream perhaps we would prevent the arrival of its successor, whether that comes by evolution or ingenuity. We will all miss it and those whose lives went with it. Let’s remember them all, men and machines, with love and peace in our hearts.
Michael on January 24th, 2010
Great article.
cm on January 24th, 2010
I couldn’t care more for the end of the Shuttle program (& quite possibly our human spaceflight program). I grieve along with you & wish you the best.
I couldn’t care LESS about health care reform, entitlement spending black holes, the list goes on…
Matthew F. Reyes on January 25th, 2010
Wow, a truly touching post that expresses many shared sentiments. Although I never worked on the Shuttle program as you have, I too am feeling the pain of loss, almost as if I were being robbed.
Chin up!
Daniel Yount ak Icarusfactor on January 25th, 2010
I also will miss the shuttle program and the remaining fleet of orbiters Atlantis, Endeavour, and Discovery. Growing up it has always been a a part of my life from testing of the Enterprise until now waiting for Endeavour, to deliver the Cupola and watching the end step even closer, but only as seen from outside of NASA. I would feel more at ease if the program had something spectacular awaiting but the future looks like a role back instead of a fast forward. I would have though by now they would have had more of a space ship for manned flights and the reentry with a vertical landing capability and a parachute just for back up not as primary return method. But that is my 2 cents its going to be hard to take unless they can offer something worthy to take its place.
Blondie1215 on January 27th, 2010
As a Mom who watched her son breathe, eat, and sleep Space Shuttle, I can identify with the sadness and loss of this amazing program. I truly feel my son’s pain and disappointment because of its retirement. I am so happy that my sons grew up with the Shuttle program and that they have a full understanding and appreciation of what NASA and this beloved venture added to our lives. I believe that many of our younger generation have no idea that many of their gadgets evolved from the science of NASA. To all of our astronauts, their families and all of the thousands of men and women who dedicated their lives to NASA, I salute you. With deep respect, Marilyn Reyes
ixmfourxi on January 28th, 2010
I heard that Obama admin. was outsourcing NASAs work to Russia and our other allies. That is counter productive and against what Obama pledged in his inauguration. I remember he would end giving out benefits to companies that would out source american jobs. Now look! after his address he has plans to cut NASAs budget and outsource to Russia and friends.. WHERE IS THE CHANGE WE WANTED??
Stratocumulus on January 31st, 2010
ixmfourxi, the Obama Administration is NOT outsourcing any of NASA’s work to Russia. Or to any of our other allies. Presently they are planning to use AMERICAN private aerospace companies to develop new systems capable of delivering crew and cargo to the International Space Station. That’s approximately 5,000 new American jobs. After the last flight of the Space Shuttle; and until those new domestically developed systems come online; NASA will have no choice but to fly all of its astronauts to the Space Station on a Russian Soyuz. But the sooner American private enterprise can pick up the slack, the sooner Americans will start flying on American rockets again.
Oceanchick99 on February 4th, 2010
Jen – You have captured the sentiment honestly and humanly. It was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
DougTheBug on February 23rd, 2010
Please write a book entailing your memories. Just your article here opens my eyes to something more special than I had known. The ending of this era/program is saddening to me also. I feel like the last 10 years of my life have been a continual passing of eras where very true and beautiful things are being tossed to the wayside in favor of shallow, wasting things.
cindy on April 11th, 2010
Your memories are fabulous! I agree with the last poster, Jen. You are an excellent writer. Consider compiling a book.
One of the dreams I wished to experience before the end of my life was to see a shuttle launch. Rather a shock to discover I’ll never fulfill it now.
Growing up, my brother and I were fascinated with everything space shuttle. My brother was always sending away for astronaut photos. My dad even applied to be the teacher to go aboard Columbia.
Let’s hope the private sector opens the throttle to get an American made vehicle back out there with the stars.